Poetry: I Wanted To Say Goodbye But You Had Already Gone by j’sun howard

i won’t know where to go anymore.
i won’t even know the rules for
this leaving. i know it’s snowing and
tears are waking up in my eyes
as this lyric with nothing to say.
i know i’m walking. and i’m alone.
i know i’m not scared. it snows.

this must be how angels feel too.
this must be how you can’t let
go but have to let go and
see an amber glow glow. how long
will this night be not real? soon
you’ll be another phantom. i don’t know
how my body will handle this vacancy.

jsun howard
j’sun howard

j’sun ​howard ​is a dancemaker and writer (sick of) living in Chicago, his work attempts to deconstruct the celestial body, his short fiction and poems have been in Chicago IRL, Inkwell, Danspace’s Constellations and Influences, Garland Court Review, Storyglossia, 3rd Language, Bird’s Thumb, and Manifold, The Body, most recently his poetry/dance collaboration, Utopic Monster Theory, with ​poet ​Jennifer Karmin has been performed​ in exhibitions “I Can’t Breathe” at ARC Gallery, “Law and Disorder” at Women Made Gallery, and in​ ​Small Traffic Press’s​ ​production​ o​f Poets Theater Festival (San Franci​sco),​ find him online…


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